


I'm Only What You Make Me

by telefool



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Cis-Female Eddie Brock, Declarations Of Love, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Venom Symbiote (Marvel), Gender-Neutral Venom Symbiote (Marvel), Other, References to Depression, Symbrock Holiday Gift Exchange 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-23 10:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17078963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/telefool/pseuds/telefool
Summary: Eddie can't run fast enough to escape herself.





	I'm Only What You Make Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Owlship](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owlship/gifts).



> Title from LSD by Jamila Woods. My cis female Eddie just looks exactly like Tom Hardy.

Eddie was pretty sure getting Annie back wasn’t an option, anymore, so much. Not really.

 

She was at another ‘working lunch’ or, a side-effect of Annie’s need for a group text with her ex, and her boyfriend, who seemed surprisingly fine with having Eddie around. Eddie wasn’t sure if he was secretly an asshole, so she had yet to find out if that was because she was a woman and therefore wasn’t a threat, or if it was because she had almost died under his care.

 

‘ ** _Did Not._** ’ Venom rumbled, a growl reverberating from where her head became her spine. ‘ ** _You Were In No Danger-_** ’

 

‘You were snacking on me, love.’ Eddie told it firmly. ‘It’s okay. You didn’t know.’

 

She tried to project good will, maybe even humor, but through her own emotions she could feel it’s negativity. Like a cold patch in a pool, Venom’s resilient unease at the thought of her death. Eddie tried to focus on the unedited gardening article in front of her, but Venom’s unease turned to worry, and curiosity and then like a switch being thrown, memories were submerging her, sucking her under- she’s nine, it’s raining even into her boots, and she doesn’t _see_ the car- she’s twenty-three, waking up in a little puddle of her own puke, shaky with the knowledge that last night could’ve been it for her - she’s flat on her back, speared through like the hor d’ouevre Riot wanted her whole shitty planet to be, and Venom is far from her, leaving her emptier than the hole through her center - Eddie pinched her thigh hard, made Vee knock it off.

 

‘ ** _You Are Stupid._** ’ It told her, and Eddie did her best to project a mental sigh.

 

‘So are you.’ She thought, and refused to think about her last near-death experience, the one neither of them wanted to relive-

 

- _fire tearing them apart, cell by brilliant cell_ -

 

‘Stupider than me.’ Eddie thought.

 

“Need more?” Dan asked her, and he was so- ugh. He was so nice. It was gross, honestly. He was an intersectional feminist, who wasn’t using it for a pick-up line, but as a ruler for his voting tendencies. He was a doctor, and therefore loaded. He was cute- in a boy way, which wasn’t really Eddie’s thing, but Annie seemed pretty into him.

 

More into him than Eddie anyway.

 

“Yeah, sure, if you’re paying.” Eddie said. “And a muffin? Two muffins.”

 

“Sure.” Dan said. He was happy to help, and Eddie was starting to believe he was _actually_ just happy to help.

 

Ugh.

 

He left, heading for the counter, and something made Eddie look over, directly into Anne’s glare.

 

“What?”

 

“You’re ridiculous.” Anne said, and her tone made Eddie’s stomach sink. Too much coffee probably, or maybe just her parasite wiggling around as it felt her obvious distress. “I thought we were doing better than this.”

 

“ _We_?” Eddie interrupted, and she might be ridiculous, but she was also stupid and good at self-sabotage. “No such thing, babe.”

 

“ _Don’t_ call-”

 

‘ ** _-Her That!_** ’

 

The protests were so simultaneous Eddie was left blinking, and when she said ‘What.’, she wasn’t even sure who she was asking.

 

“I’m not your _babe_.” Annie hissed. “I thought we were friends, jesus christ.”

 

“We are-” Eddie started, already regretting her bullshit. Venom was upset, rolling in her stomach, probably because Annie looked so upset. She always did this- couldn’t ever fucking stop when she needed to.

 

“No.” Anne said, and she had that tone. The one that said she was divorcing Eddie from her life, again. “We aren’t. I’m too nice for my own good, and you’re a bitch.”

 

Anne slapped her laptop shut, shuffled her papers stacked and away, while Eddie sat mute in uncomfortable silence. Christ. Working lunches. Eddie couldn’t imagine the trust it must have cost Anne to trust her around any of that stuff ever again after what she’d done-

 

“Anne. _Annie_ -” Eddie tried. Knew she’d fucked up when Annie paused everything, to stare at her, mouth a thin pink line.

 

“I’m not your ‘ _Annie_ ’ anymore, Eddie.” Anne said, her voice flat. “Not your babe, not your honey. I wanted- I want-” And oh, thank fucking god, she wasn’t throwing Eddie away again, even though she deserved it, more than fucking deserved it, “- I want to be _friends_ , but your crap about Dan is making that hard.”

 

“This is hard.” Eddie said honestly, miserably, and Anne’s face softened. Now she just looked tired, and somehow that was worse.

 

“Of course it’s hard, Eddie...” Anne said. “God, you’re worse than a guy-”

 

“Woah.” Dan said, taking in Anne’s defensive stance as he walked up- Eddie’s closed off expression. “I didn’t take _that_ long.”

 

“ _Jesus._ ” Anne said. “I didn’t mean-”

 

“Of course.” Dan said soothingly, and ugh, Anne was smiling at him, and Eddie- Eddie loved that smile, pressed to her cheek, and her pussy- her shoulder up late, when she was typing into the dark. And now they were kissing, and they were so obviously good for each other, Eddie was pretty sure the kiss didn’t run long for any vindictive reason- just- just because they _liked_ each other, and the more working lunches Eddie attended, the less Eddie thought she was ever getting Annie back.

 

“I’m gonna go.” Anne said. “Are you-”

 

“I think I’m going to stick around for a bit.” Dan said, and Anne shot a look back and forth between the two of them.

 

“You don’t- She doesn’t even like you.” Anne said, and okay, no, Dan might be a sap, but-

 

“I like Dan.” Eddie said. “He’s... nice.”

 

“See? _What?_ She’s not going to eat me.” Dan said. “I have muffins. And I really do need to finish this report-”

 

“ _Really-_ ” Anne started.

 

“These are supposed to be _working_ lunches, according to the group text.” Dan said, only a hint wryly, and Eddie laughed unwillingly.

 

Anne looked at him, taking in his earnest goodwill- over to Eddie, who was wearing distaste and discomfort like a coat. Sighed.

 

“Okay.” She said. Looked in Dan’s eyes. “You’re too good for me.”

 

Hewas not, Eddie knew, but he was sort of perfect for her, and besides it wasn’t Eddie’s place to tell her that, not anymore. So, she stared blankly at her screen, while Dan assured her ex-fiancee, her, _fuck_ , her _Annie_ , that it was in fact, the opposite, and if this time their kiss was sweeter, more breathless, Eddie was determined not to notice.

 

Anne left quickly after that, and for a moment the table was quiet. Only a moment, before Eddie opened her mouth and wrecked that.

 

“I’m still in love with her.” Eddie said, like it meant something to anybody besides her. Her and Venom, who was still strangely upset, although the sudden rage seemed to have subsided. Like many things in her life, Eddie decided to worry about that later.

 

“That’s obvious.” Dan said, but not hatefully. “Anne’s-”

 

“She’s _perfect_.” Eddie said fiercely, even though she knew better than a lot of people that wasn’t true. Nobody was perfect. “Don’t- don’t fuck it up, Doctor Dan. Learn from my mistakes. You two are- _ugh_ -”

 

“Is that your blessing?” Dan asked, looking amused and annoyingly touched. “ ‘Ugh’?”

 

“Fuck off.” Eddie said, but it was obvious there was no heat to it. “I will leave your ass here. You should have left with Annie.”

 

“No, I think she needed some time to calm down. Write you a really long text.” Dan said, and Eddie groaned. He just smiled, slid her the plate with three muffins on it. Eddie took one, and used it to ignore his amiable good will. Chose instead to open up the piece she was free-lancing. It wasn’t great she thought, looking over her first few paragraphs, but it’d have to do.

 

In the end, muffins eaten and coffee cups drained, Dan left before her after all. Wished Eddie a good night, and she couldn’t make herself hug him, so they shook hands. The action made him smile, so it had served it’s purpose. Human interaction was so hard.

 

‘ ** _It Is_**.’ Venom said, finally speaking up from the sullen funk it had slipped into while Eddie had worked and ignored it. It had in fact been silent for so long, that Eddie startled when it spoke, typing a few capital letters randomly into her sentence. ‘ ** _Why Did You Tell Dan You Were Leaving And Then Not Leave-?_** ’

 

“Shut up, Vee.” Eddie grumbled. “You said you were hungry earlier. Is that why you were so upset?”

 

‘ ** _I’m Your Babe_**.’ Venom said, and for a moment Eddie didn’t make the connection. And then it sounded so serious that Eddie just laughed. Sobered almost immediately at the pulsing hurt that followed.

 

‘Shit.’ She said faintly. ‘Wait-’

 

‘ ** _Am I Not?_** ’ Venom asked and the hurt dividing them was only growing at Eddie’s apparent disbelief. ‘ ** _Am I Not Yours, Eddie?_** ’

 

“Jesus, no.” Eddie said, too loud and honestly the worst possible response, and she was shoving her shit into her bag already, hands moving as fast as she could- this wasn’t shaping up to be a quiet conversation. Not with what they were feeling- a roiling mix of hurt and anger- real betrayal. “ _Why_ would you think- _fuck_ \- okay, okay, let me get outside.”

 

Eddie fled the concerned looks around her, heading for the first darkened alley she saw. She was hardly alone, after all.

 

‘ ** _What Am I To You Then?_** ’ Venom asked and Eddie feeling everything too fast opened her mouth and spoke to empty air in front of her.

 

“I don’t- _Vee_. What do you think ‘babe’ means-?”

 

More memories, a heady rush. Annie, holding her hand, bracing her as she steps into the shower after her- the warm press of Anne’s body against hers while they watch tv, coiled warmly together- Eddie pressing tiny kisses to the top of Annie’s head, over and over while she cries over a lost case.

 

And then, Eddie doing the same thing, soaking in sea salt and ice cold water, bobbing next to a tattered black mass floating on the top of the water. It had looked like oil, and she had kissed and kissed the pieces of Venom she could pull to her, it’s slowly coalescing form smooth and cool, no longer blistered and burning- and Eddie ripped herself from the ocean, before that memory could rewind, force them to live through the pain that landed them there again.

 

“Oh.” Eddie said, and she sounded lost to her own ears. “Okay. Well. Good point.”

 

‘ ** _Then Why Do You Feel This Way?_** ’ Venom asked, finally pouring from her chest to hover before her, a misplaced streak of shadow, and this was stupid, but it was still better than focusing on what she was actually feeling.

 

Terror. Apathy. Depression. Exhaustion. **_Hunger._**

 

Eddie sucked in a breath like an inward scream. She was so tired. She needed to go home. She needed to finish writing that article, make a little cash to pour into her bike, or fuck maybe her bank account. She needed to figure this shit out so she could stop arguing with her worse half behind a vape shop.

 

‘ ** _What Am I To You Then?_** ’ Venom demanded, and it’s eyes were searching her face, like it couldn’t feel Eddie’s murky confusion, exhaustion and unhealthy denial. It sounded lost, even with it’s ridiculous voice, and it was Eddie who pulled them into thoughts of Annie’s sweet laughter- Venom who ripped them out of it.

 

‘ ** _Why-_** ’

 

“No- _you_. Damnit! We’ve never so much as talked about this- about any of this-”

 

More memories pressed in, and Eddie relived her mouth shaping the word ‘ _dear_ ’ (around ice-cream, Venom shocked into momentary silence- teeth grit around the pet name as they argued over which heads were okay to eat, which ones definitely weren’t- distant, and tacked on to a lazy request for Venom to hand her the remote) and the word ‘love’ (only once, as Venom wrapped chilled tendrils around her arm and slid to rest in her heart, safe from the sea, making Eddie taste salt in the back of her throat for days) and the love in the last memory Eddie realized wasn’t just hers but _theirs_ -

 

“-no-” She said, more in response to the abrupt sensory take over, dizzied by the overwhelming emotional assault, riding them at a pace she couldn’t process on her own, and Venom was furious-

 

-and then it wasn’t. It was like she wasn’t feeling it at all, just an abrupt cutoff, like she’d shot off a cliff. The sudden loss was so immediate, so shocking that Eddie’s throat choked on a scream, some crazy gargled noise, and _fuck_ , oh fuck that _hurt_.

 

Shit. Venom had just- it felt like it was just _gone_ and that it could leave her like this hurt worse than the loss and _shit_ , the loss hurt like a fucking bone break and Eddie felt tears squeezed from the corners of her eyes. _Shit._

 

She leaned back, and luckily the wall met her halfway or she’d have gone down. Shitshitshit. She tried clutching for her heart, but it was fucking gone.

 

“Dude, you okay?” Somebody called from the end of the alley, some concerned citizen, and Eddie threw up a hand. Shit. No. No, they weren’t okay. They were-

 

They _weren’t_ , and that was a million times worse than the complete mess they had been together a moment ago. At least, it felt like Venom had left, even though Eddie hadn’t felt it physically leave at all. Mostly, she felt empty, cold in her bones, her heart, her thoughts, just Eddie wearing her tired skin and the loneliness shook through her like a sudden wind and Eddie was so _alone_ -

 

The walk home took a long time to start. Took a longer time to finish. Laying alone curled in a bed as wide and deep as the sea had been, Eddie fell asleep with her mind racing. Slept like she was still awake.

 

Woke up to the emptiness, to Venom's silence in her head and just like that Eddie knew she wasn't getting up. Knew she wasn't doing anything today and the despair bogged her down fast, crept into her veins, and sunk her into the hole inside of herself Venom had left so quickly, it was like she hadn't woken up at all.

 

It was a numbing feeling, and maybe that was what happened to hosts when their other left them, Eddie thought sluggishly. Maybe they just shrunk into themselves becoming less and less until they-

 

' ** _-eddie-_** '

 

"Venom?" Eddie said, her voice hushed in the hot morning of her bedroom. “Venom!”

 

 

She sat up slowly, wincing. **_God, they were hungry_**. How long had she let herself lay there? She could feel it now, slowly getting stronger, like a dim pulse. She'd always taken the force of its thoughts as a given, and now that it felt like they were calling through thick fog, Eddie brought hands to her chest as though she could reach into the depths of herself and pull Venom closer.

 

'Vee.' Eddie thought anxiously. 'Come _on_.'

 

' ** _Eddie!_** '

 

'Jackass!' Eddie thought fiercely, and Vee sent back a tender rush of hot affection and that. Wow, that was coming through just fine. 'Don't fucking scare me-'

 

' ** _I Did Not Mean To._** ' Vee said and Eddie believed it. Had to when she could feel it, Vee's regret laying heavy on her heart. ' ** _I Didn't Think It Would Feel-_** '

 

'It hurt, Vee.' Eddie said, and Vee made a noise of distress somewhere between an angry cat and a diesel truck.

 

' ** _Is That Why You Feel This Way?_** '

 

"I don't know!" Eddie said, even though she was pretty sure that was exactly why. She hadn't had a depressive episode severe enough to lose time in over a year. She was also shouting in her bedroom alone, like a mad woman. "How did you not mean to-"

 

" ** _I Wanted To Be Alone._** " Vee said in her ear, slowly manifesting from Eddie's shoulder, it's voice a deep hiss, it's teeth sharp and blue from the morning light. " ** _And Then You Were Gone. I Though It Was Your Fault, Before I Remembered You Are Too Stupid._** "

 

"Thanks." Eddie muttered and it may be stupid, but honestly she was too relieved to push like she normally would. What was the point when she could feel Vee's constant upset at the situation like a storm building at the back of her brain. Eddie was pretty sure they called that an aneurysm. "Why didn't you just, like, you know. Come out. Appear. Whatever."

 

“ ** _No!_** ” Vee roared, and Eddie jumped at the lash of fear and anger. God, it hadn’t been this intense even yesterday, had it? “ ** _What If We Could Never Bond Again?_** ”

 

" _No_ , love." Eddie soothed, not thinking, just caught in their feelings, which were so raw, so fresh, and Eddie wanted to chalk it up to their brief separation- maybe they were just hungry. But the words hit Venom like a slap and Eddie was still breathing through the shock when Venom retreated under her skin, settling in with her ink, her bullshit and her bad attitude.

 

And then it was just her in her bed, in her head, except that she could feel Venom's roiling discontent.

 

 _And_ she was late for work.

 

La _ter_ , by the time she was walking in. Everyone had lied. Bad press was just bad press, and even with the Life Foundation facing media scrutiny and a slew of court dates, picking up the pieces of her life still required her to be places on time, and she was-

 

"Eddie. _Eddie._ "

 

"Traffic-" Eddie started helplessly, but Miranda ignored her entirely, side-railing her into her own desk, and Eddie wished it was ever just one thing at a time.

 

"You need to get out there. We have a situation!"

 

"A what?" Eddie asked, already slipping her jacket back on.

 

"A situation!" Miranda trilled again, looking just fucking keen at the idea. "A serious situation happening right now! Inhumane treatment! Human rights violations!"

 

"Where am I going?" Eddie asked, and Venom perked up for the first time all morning, probably at the prospect of heads. Miranda’s eyes shone with an uncomfortable manic excitement, and Eddie wished a single human being who enjoyed journalism was sane.

 

"We received a complaint just moments ago about a woman whose life is being medically threatened-"

 

"Where?"

 

"Right here!" Miranda said cheerfully. "If you're late again, I'll kill you myself. Aw, don't look so down, Brock- you should’ve known better. You're still on research, remember? ‘Til we can trust you?"

 

"Hah." Eddie said smiling uneasily as Miranda slapped her on the back, Venom sinking to her stomach now that it had been re-affirmed that Eddie was still boring and food was not on the way. Eddie hated working in print, but it kept them in tater tots, and Netflix on two screens, for when Venom wanted to watch _I, Zombie_ and Eddie wanted to watch something with no cannibalism.“Good- good, good joke Miranda. I’ll- sorry, yeah- traffic-”

 

“I’ll kill you.” Miranda said still smiling. “Or worse put you in movie reviews. Now get to researching! Tim’s got that bit on global warming and you know-”

 

“I know!” Eddie said, and tried to remind herself she was lucky to have this job. “Thanks- thanks, Miranda-”

 

“Yeah, uh-huh. You know it’s easier for me to let you cut out early when you actually show up in the first place, Eddie.”

 

“Uh-huh.” Eddie said, and oh god, this weird forced sympathy was worse. “Thanks, Miranda. I won’t let it happen again.”

 

“Uh-huh. Sure, Eddie.” Miranda said, somehow sounding simultaneously like all the other women Eddie had disappointed in her life.

 

‘ ** _So I’m Not The First._** ’ Venom said pointedly, and Eddie winced at the sudden lancing derision.

 

“You’re not a _woman_.” Eddie hissed.

 

‘ ** _We Are Venom?_** ’ Venom agreed, but it seemed confused at the distinction Eddie was making. ‘ ** _What Makes A Woman?_** ’

 

“You writing country songs now?” Eddie murmured, but Vee didn’t seem interested in distractions. Too bad. Miranda may be nuts, but she was right when she said Eddie had a lot of work to do.

 

‘ ** _Is That Why?_** ’ Venom asked, and Eddie ignored it for a minute, while she pulled out her laptop, tried to figure out what the hell Vee was talking about. ‘ ** _Is That Why I’m Not Your Babe? Because I’m Not A Woman?_** ’

 

“What?” Eddie said, way too loudly judging by the now pointed looks her coworkers were giving her. When she glanced around, the man next to her gave her one-fourth of a smile, and Eddie gave up and headed for the bathroom.

 

“What?!” She whispered, crouched furtively in the ladies bathroom, sitting on a public toilet seat with her pants still on. “What are you even asking me?”

 

Eddie knew what Vee was asking her. It made a cold pit rise in her stomach and she was sure Vee could feel that too. So, instead, because Eddie was a shitty friend, and historically, a terrible girlfriend, she deflected.

 

“You aren’t my babe, you’re a parasite!”

 

“ ** _Am Not!_** ” Venom roared, and Eddie was done with this. All day long her emotions had been strapped to a fucking rocket, up and then down, and they weren’t even her _own_ , and she- _she_ \- she had work to do.

 

“You are!” Eddie said, standing. “An emotional parasite!”

 

“ ** _Mean!_** ” Venom said immediately, and it hurt, and when it hurt, _they_ hurt, and for a second the pain brought them so close that Eddie threw a hand out, like she could hold the feeling back. And then- and then it started to dim and Eddie panicked. Slammed her hand into the stall door, and the physical pain brought Venom back immediately, black closing around her hand before she could even feel the bruise.

 

“Don’t go.” Eddie said. Now she sounded like a fucking country cliche. “Not again.”

 

“ ** _You’re Mean, Eddie._** ” Venom said, and shit, she cannot be the crazy lady who goes to the women’s restroom just to cry. “ ** _I Have To Feel You, Too._** ”

 

And then Venom sucked back into her skin, and refused to come out or talk. Not when Eddie tried chocolate, or promises, or finally just cried, lost in their fucked up feelings and her own denial, too lost to tell what was whose anymore.

 

Miranda let her skip out a little early, probably because Eddie looked like shit, and Eddie decided Miranda could kill her if she wanted to, just for that. If Venom didn’t do it first.

 

She had told her when she’d been hired that she was still working to stabilize her dosage of anti-depressants (she was, Vee had a crazy fucking metabolism) and that it may cause her mood to fluctuate (that’s what the bottle said) and that she may be less reliable because of it (that was the lie- it was normally Vee related). Still, Miranda knew she would put in the work on her own time, and that was what really mattered. It meant that when Eddie passed a few dudes lurking behind a shop on her bike, she had the time to take an active interest. To pull over, and scale the building beside them- until she could decide if they were good guys or bad guys.

 

Well, okay, Venom did most of the wall scaling, and Eddie did most of the deductive reasoning. They didn’t talk about it much, just the give and take in their head that went for asking permission. It was fine. She didn’t feel like talking, and she definitely didn’t feel like climbing even just a two-story building.

 

Venom did. It felt hungry. Impatient. Tired, but still burning with that need to consume that was why Eddie had called it a parasite in the first place. It was a little harder to feel Venom like this, like she was inside, and Venom was speaking through the door, wrapped and muted as she was inside of it. It was probably better. Made it easier when she tried not to feel the brick under their hands, as Venom made it’s own fingerholds in crumbling mortar. Vee hated when she panicked, mostly because it made Vee panic.

 

“ ** _You Are Panicking._** ” Venom growled, and oh, Eddie could feel that. Irritation, like bug bites. “ ** _And_ _You Are So Loud. Shut Up._** ”

 

‘You’re still upset with me.’ Eddie retorted, always more comfortable with truth that wasn’t her own. ‘Why do we feel so weird today?’

 

Venom was silent, skulking across the roof to eye their snack lurking in the alley below, and when it did speak, it was inside, and even quieter.

 

‘ ** _Side Effect, Maybe._** ’ Vee offered, and the guarded nature of it’s answer had Eddie on full alert.

 

‘Side effect?” Eddie repeated dumbly, and Vee shook it’s head. Her distress must be distracting. ‘Side effect of what, Vee?’

 

And then gun shots opened up below and the next few minutes happened in rapid-fire. The little _pop-pop-pop_ of an automatic stinging their body made Venom’s irritability rise again and they were already so hungry- their huge black feet ate up the ground quickly, their whip-smart tendrils snaking along, around and beside them, tearing into the threat before their teeth could catch up.

 

Bones splinter when they break, and the first skull broke like cracking frost, juicy like the Gushers Eddie used to get in her lunch, until their tongue runs red with it- until their hunger has receded into only exhausted satisfaction. Until all the bodies are in one pile, and the heads are in their belly: hair, teeth and sweet chemicals. A nasty stew, but they felt better for it. More whole.

 

‘ ** _We Should Always Be Whole._** ’ Venom told her, it’s voice as soft as she’d heard it. ‘ ** _Bonded, Eddie. Like Marriage._** ’

 

‘This is not what that is like.’ Eddie said, but she didn’t really know for sure. The only person she’d ever tried to bond with had left her for a rich doctor. She did know she didn’t feel like arguing the point in the dark, with their tongue out. She could just make out the black shine of their reflection on the windows of the shop beside them. The strong flex of their arms, the bunching bulk of their thighs as they run from the alley, from the sirens, from the ‘bad guys’ they were leaving for the police to find and ID.

 

‘ ** _It Is._** ’ Venom replied stubbornly.

 

Eddie just ran faster.

 

“How is bonding like marriage?” Eddie asked much later, safe in their bathroom, because blood was easier to get off fresh.Venom lay coiled around her neck, hanging like a scarf, or a horrifying fanged growth. “Because we argue? Because we can never decide what to get for dinner? That’s dumb-”

 

“ ** _Don’t Say That._** ” Venom said immediately, picking up it’s head with a disturbing sentience no scarf should ever possess. “ ** _Don’t Be Like Them-_** ”

 

“Them?” Eddie asked, adjusting the water, and this time it was Vee who was pulling memories up, like answers on the tip of her tongue, like if Eddie could just focus, she would know everything. Vee gives her it’s past-bonding, and this was like marriage, sharing about old exes except that it wasn’t. Except that Venom’s memories were a nightmare, of pain and hunger and eventual death, of slow eating, and long hatred. It was brutal, an almost efficient destruction, disgustingly so and Eddie swam back to herself, panting. Came out of it wearing Venom completely, wrapping her closer than a shock blanket.

 

‘ ** _My Kind Bonds For Food Eddie._** ’ Venom said reluctantly. ‘ ** _They Don’t Believe In What We’ve Found- In Symbiosis._** ’

 

“What do they believe in?” Eddie asked, and Vee was quiet even longer, while Eddie tested the water on their wrist, and made sure her shampoo was actually in the shower, not somewhere impossible to reach with soap in your eyes. When she was pulled in again it was a mess. Worse than the feeding- a nasty taking, pulling, _using_ exchange of power in bonding and Eddie knew it was Riot without Venom saying a word.

 

“Fuck that.” Eddie said out loud, but they were still masked, so it came out as a throaty reverberation in their tiny bathroom, startling them both.

 

“So... What, marriage isn’t allowed on your planet?” Eddie asked. “Isn’t _cool_?”

 

“ ** _Yes._** ” Venom said, reluctance in it’s words. “ ** _They Would Think We Are... Dumb._** ”

 

“So, they don’t believe in what, love? Forever? _Any of that?_ ” Eddie stepped into the shower, and Venom pulled back into her. Vee didn’t like the feeling of water on them (-briny slaps of ocean pulling it in a million directions, and it’s so weak, and **_eddie_** , and it hurts-), but it loved feeling the water through Eddie. “I guess I don’t either- really-?”

 

And oh, that had hurt, longing, and confusion, and the sting of rejection and oh, _fuck_ -

 

“It’s not because you aren’t a woman.” Eddie said, finally, which was the worst possible answer and still, hope spread through their chest like fire catching. “It’s- I’m- Fuck!”

 

Eddie slammed her fist into the tile wall in front of her, forgetting she wasn’t masked, and shouted wordlessly when this time Vee let it hurt. Venom stayed silent.

 

Waited.

 

And Eddie. Eddie-

 

“C’mon, Vee.” Eddie said, and god she wasn’t ready. She was scared. She hated being scared. “You can’t really mean you want- all of- this. _Forever._ ”

 

She gestured at her body, her general being and in response Venom rolled up her spine, settling at the nape of her neck, the place where the shower beat the hottest on her skin, an external pulse. It must already know it had won, because Eddie could feel the sheer joy radiating out from it, and she didn’t want to smile when she was this scared. Too confusing.

 

‘ ** _I Want Us._** ’ Venom said, and their heart beat faster at the admission. ‘ ** _And This Planet Has Love. And Marriage. And Rice. And Doves-_** ”

 

“That’s stupid.” Eddie said desperately. “You’re stupid.”

 

Venom was quiet for a moment. Feeling her. Feeling where _her_ became a _them_.

 

‘ ** _Those Are Bad Vows, Eddie._** ’ Vee said finally.

 

“Shit.” Eddie said, wide-eyed and naked, but not alone. Never alone, not again. “They are, aren’t they?”

 

‘ ** _They Are Shit_**.’ Venom agreed warmly. And then fast, like she would interrupt, like she would stop them- ‘ ** _I Love You, Eddie._** ’

 

She was crying.

 

She was crazy. This was her second cry in a bathroom today.

 

“Love you.” Eddie said. Breathless. Scared. Like a fucking vow. “Love you, Vee. Can’t- can’t believe you’d want me-”

 

‘ ** _Better._** ’ Vee said. ‘ ** _Now Be Quiet And Make Us More Bubbles._** ’

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

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